Thursday, November 22, 2007

Blank space


I am sure that it has not escaped your attention that I have had some trouble composing anything that even remotely resembles a good blog.
I suppose the fact that it takes half the day to comment on all my regular reads contributes to my lack of creativity… not that I don’t enjoy this little ritual… oh no quite to the contrary… the problem is the fact that after reading every bodies blogs I waiver in my trust in my own writing skills.
When I get home I also spend a good amount of time writing the novel that Will and I are slowly but surely coloring in.
I say this because the entire book has been written and it’s about 5 pages long and we are now adding all the good language, complex metaphors and emotional illustrations that will turn the 5 pages into a book.

I also intend to make a concerted effort to read more as I am slowly but surely realizing that Stiffla and Will are developing a new habit that will surely be the downfall of my over inflated ego.
God only knows what prompts them but lately these two have presented me with some strange questions.
Ranging form Saran gas to the complexities of Roman History (and Will knows full well that he knows more about Rome than I do so he really is just trying to piss me off) they look at me with this complete trust and when I finally swallow down the bile that is accompanied by having to say “I don’t know” they have a damn good giggle and make another note on the “things Lee doesn’t know List”.
Either I am the epitome of obnoxious or these two are just little daemons.
I am quite sure it’s the latter but I still intend on formulating a counter attack that will see me emerge the victor and let me maintain my title of household know it all and hanus Bitch.

Speaking of Bitch.
I have just rented a leash and a Muzzle from the animal welfare society .
I am taking Stiffla cloths shopping this weekend and I have decided that I should come prepared for whatever the little bugger chucks at me.
In Stiff’s defense I am forced to point out that my obsession with finding the best possible selection at the lowest possible price has turned me into the worst shopper to ever set foot in the realm of Malldom.
However If I left my techno obsessed better half to complete the strenuous task of clothing shopping on his own he would most likely return with a pair of sox a full tummy and ten DVD’s forcing me to spend another 4 months bitching that I can see through his nice shirts.
I did offer to do the shopping on my own but I think my man doubts my taste a little bit and the fact that cloths don’t come in “skinny little bastard” size also doesn’t help the situation.
I think that we have reached a compromise.
I am to bargain hunt at my favorite stores after work today and make my selection (a trip I intent forcing Will to attend)
And tomorrow I will Drag stiff Kicking and screaming into the change rooms to fit the cloths and then pay.

I am also hoping that the financial director decides to be a darling and pays me today
It is coming terribly close to Christmas which is the biggest day of the year and I will not be the only person across the row of three houses that make up our family to be without a Christmas tree and too much tinsel.

By the way it is not our tradition so this is why I may be getting the days wrong… But to all my American readers… I hope you hade a clucking good thanks giving

Peace out peeps

13 comments:

Unknown said...

Shame. Poor Stiffla and Will. Any kind of extended shopping is pure torture for a man.

A tip. Mean are more capable of short burst of shopping than long extended hours. Do the fitting thing for about an hour and then go somewhere for a bite to eat so he can recharge his batteries. Recharge frequently. THat way you'll get more out of him.

Hahaha. I've become a traitor to my own kind.

Nosjunkie said...

Hahaha
Glugs I hate to say this but My stiff has a problem with ahving a bite to eat.
You see the mans metabolism is set to warp speed and he has to relieve himself of the meal 5 minutes after eating it.
this would not be such a problem if he didnt have issues with men's room loos

Szarek(Will) said...

LOL

I hate you...Why do you wana drag me with?

Of course the Americans had a great thank giving the Colts won yesterday! :)

Sweets said...

shopping!!... whoopee!!... spend spend spend!! you should put them in a restaurant close by and get a walky talky set, when you spot something he should try one... call him over... roger that shopper 1....over and out

Nosjunkie said...

Hahahaha
thats a great Idea Sweetass although they might turn the whole shopping experience into war games.
I can just see them ducking behind cubicals and talking in code

The CEO said...

I hear you. I am going shopping after work today. I'll buy two suits, maybe five shirts, and some more socks, all by myself, unless my partner comes along to buy some stuff for himself. But we grew up, and we need to impress clients. I even smile at clients so I don't look like a hit man. I'm such a sweetheart.

AngelConradie said...

mwaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaa...
oh how i'd love to witness a shopping trip like that! damien will say as little as possible hoping i'll finish faster then ask if he can go somewhere else and wait for me till i'm done!
maybe i shuld try the leash... :D

and no worries bout your writing lee- i have the same problem when i've been reading other people's blogs... yet people keep coming back to mine!!! gotta love blogland...
;P

Claudia said...

I have a friend here that shamelessly makes up the most elaborate stories about anything. He's quite good at it. Those that don't know better think he's serious. It's time to fight back against Will and Stiffla and start creating your own answers to their questions!! :)

Good luck shopping. I have a love/hate relationship with malls, but today, I am avoiding them like the plague. The day after Thanksgiving here is called Black Friday and officially launches the holiday shopping frenzy. People get up at hours even roosters are still snoozing to go and start shopping.

Valley Girl said...

Your blog is wonderful! Don't worry about it too much.

Crankster said...

Thanks, Lee. It was a great Thanksgiving.

And, as to the rest, best of luck. I've been told that buying clothes for a man is hellish.

Anonymous said...

What an exciting day to go shopping with the fellas. Personally, I just buy shirts and pants that dont fit properly for poor bill, thus forcing him to go to the store and exchange it himself. I usually pick stores that sell only clothing so he can stay focused. Good luck!!

And congrats on that book of you and your bothers.

M@ said...

I agree. Christmas is the biggest day of the year. It's heavy, for sure.

Drizel said...

hihihih....go girl, he will like the new clothes once he has it, even if he never admits it...
I normally blog first and then read all the other blogs:)
have a good week chicky...HUGZ