Wednesday, November 14, 2007

SEX! Oh no!!!!

I find it strange that in a house of open minded liberal thinkers sex was such a high hurdle to jump.
Its sad but it is true… by the time my mother finally scraped together the stomach to talk to me about sex I was 21 years old and no longer in need of her jittery little chat.
I remember her trying once when I was 14 but at 14 the information obtained from your juvenile friends regarding the subject is far more interesting and ,in your mind, far more accurate than the horror stories that your fossilized old mother could come up with.

At the end of the day when I lost my virginity it had nothing to do with an emotional bond with my chosen partner but rather a matter of not being able to contain the curiosity that by now occupied 90% of my conscious thoughts and 100% of my subconscious thoughts.
The fact that he was a virgin and making himself shamelessly available provided an opportunity that could not be passed up.
Needles to say I was left a little disappointed and a little ashamed.
You see in those formative years I was desperately trying to fit into the box and unfortunately that box left no room for such fornication so I turned my little encounter into a full blown 11month relationship.

Today I cant help thinking that If I had grown up in household where sex was discussed as if it were common place and not as if it were some form flesh eating virus I would have been able to escape the years of guilt that sex triggered.
I may also have been able to contain my curiosity for a little while longer.

I don’t think that sex is evil or that it is the direct path to eternal damnation and I am bale to realize that it is a natural urge that needs to be satisfied.
I understand that teenagers are little les than fleshy balls of hormonal dysfunctions (having recently been one of those fleshy balls myself) and that all of them are thinking of having sex.
And I honestly believe that if you start talking to your children about sex when their teens it is way too late.
I think that sex should not be seen as a taboo subject for discussion for children at all I believe that you should talk to them about it from a young age and try and maintain these lines of communication throughout high school and onwards.
While this may be uncomfortable I think the pro’s outweigh the cons…
For toddles a knowledge of what sex is will protect that child from falling victim to sexual predators.
For teens knowing what sex is and what to expect will lower the risk of teen pregnancies will teach a child that they can speak to their finally openly if they are being pressured and it will also mean a higher awareness of STD’S.
As an adult I think that getting rid of the inhibitions surrounded by sex can only benefit your sex life.

So why am I bringing this up?
Well I am bringing this up because I felt that this is definitely one of my more useful rushes of shit to the brain and I would like to document it now while I am young enough to understand my theory so that one day my children my benefit from it.

What do you guys think…am I going to damage my children for life by implementing my latest brain fart


Thoughts of a Diva said...

You're not going to damage your children. It was a hush-hush subject in our house when I was growing up. Things only got worse when I married my ex-asshole and felt like sex was all about him.

By the time I was 26 I had a totally warped view of sex and how one was supposed to enjoy it.

Gladly, with a groovy partner and alot of deep talks, I learned sex is not just for one, but for both to soak up.

Anyhoo, I started talking to my kids about sex when they were way young and it doesn't seem to have jacked them up at all. They are both girls, 16 and 22.

Think back at your youth and what you knew before you decide not to share what you know.


Claudia said...

what? you have children?? boy, someone should have talked to you about that earlier on!! haha...just kidding of course-I don't think you have kids but yeah, a healthy approach to sex would do wonders!!

Mr R Rabbit said...

The anatomy and basics of sex were explained to me as soon as I was old enough to ask, at age eight. When I asked again at eleven, this time for more detail, my dad explained a lot more about it. A few more years on, fourteen, and my dad bought me several books on the psychology of sex, and about the various different practices and details.

You can see how my view of sex, and sex life, has developed from that. Its my view of relationships which is utterly screwed.

Matt-Man said...

This past summer when my 12 year old told me that he thought Maria Sharapova was hot and said that "Dad,chicks dig me." , I knew it was time to start talking about sex with him...Cheers!!

The CEO said...

I'm still waiting for my parents to have the sex discussion with me, and they are both dead. Maybe my wife should. But she seems OK with it so far.

I think being open and honest works wonders. It certainly ought to be worth trying since nothing else has worked through the ages. I say, go for it.

Crankster said...

I think the answer is yes and no--my parents screwed me up with their particular blend of openness and fear, and I did the same to my little sister. There is no right way, and every way has its nasty repercussions.

That having been said, I tend more toward the open, liberal end of the spectrum.

Nosjunkie said...

whooo hooo
new people
hallo diva and matt

Sweetass RSA said...

good post lee... well i think i passed my cool mommy test then! we talk about sex whenever ... and they've known all there is to know from a very early 2 boys come to me with the weirdest questions...!!

JR's Thumbprints said...

Um ... no comment ... not that I'm a prude or anything.

Nosjunkie said...

Diva: Hunny I kinna like sex now too and I am glad your kids can talk to you I think kids need that

Claudia: you almost had me wondering there for a sec

Rabbit: I promis that nobody has issues about your approuch to sex

Matt: that is co cute I wish I could see that kid saying that

Crankster: at least you have an opinion

CEO:thats my point too kids are gonna have sex lets just help them get the shit right

Sweetass: you know you get tones of cool mom points from me down with the prudes I say

JR: Dont worrie hun You dont need to have a comment I just like that you made the effort to read it

angel said...

SO not a bad idea girl!! brilliant post, and i completely agree with you!
damien and i have discussed everything you can possibly think of- since the first time he asked me a question- and he's had condoms in his wallet since he was 12! i will do what i can to make sure he's never one of those selfish bastards when it comes to sex!

Effortlessly Average said...

No, you're not going to stunt them emotionally. Frankly I find American's attitude regarding sex to be awfully medieval. We try to teach them all the tools they need to survive in society, yet leave out any ability to handle something that will undoubtedly play a large role in "who they are" at some point in their life. I'd much rather -and I suspect my kids would too- tell them the TRUTH about sex, in all it's glory and heartache, than have them learn it from people who themselves have no idea what it's all about.