Monday, October 22, 2007

Idiot and mothers in law

Good blogs are like farts. They come to you when you least expect them and when you try and create one out of thin air it turns out shitty.
It is 3:57 pm and my attempts at blogging have been winded, to say the least.

Tomorrow I am not going to spend much time in the office.
I am going to grin and bare it and go and see my clients.
You might think that my pessimism is unfounded but believe me it isn’t.
I suffer from a very serious condition that I have come to call “Impaired Direction Inclination-T” or IDIOT.
Symptoms of IDIOT can range from getting Lost, driving in circles and direction confuckulation to severe highway anxiety.
The only known treatment that can adequately manage IDIOT is voice prompting GPS.
Unfortunately very few doctors suffer from IDIOT and I have not yet been able to get one of them write me a prescription for a Garmin GPS.

In other news…
There is a dark cloud of matrimonial disaster looming.
Don’t get me wrong I love Stiffla but I am starting to think that we should just have a killer bachelor and bachelorette party and forget about the rest. I have no qualms about planning a party based on drinking and stripping but I do however dread the year of planning that goes into the wedding.
My other reasons for abstaining from matrimonial bliss is the bovine devil woman from whose lions my beloved happened to spring.
I understand that it is not unusual to dislike ones mother in law but is it natural to fantasize about selling her into slavery.

My time is up I‘ll tell you the mother in law story tomorrow


angel said...

i too suffer from IDIOT, but with a mapbook i'm fine!
as for the inlaws... i have a couple of them but not the parent type, and trust me- i'm going to work hard one day not to be a monster in law when damien gets married...

Gremlin said...

LOL lee the IDIOT sickness will go away after a while... That's just a temp thing, But you'll stay an Idiot afterwards.... LOL

I feel your pain in the inlaws, but on a way there are a sweet hart in there. You two are just from two deferent plannets.

The CEO said...

The real problem in marriage is adjusting to living together. That includes adjusting to the in-laws. In time, this too shall pass. It may feel like passing a hemorrhoid, but indeed, it shall pass.

Congratulations to South Africa on winning the Rugby Title!

Claudia said...

LOL...I used to suffer from a severe case of IDIOT!! If I thought I should turn left, it was guaranteed to be wrong. Even when I double guessed myself-saying, "OK, I think I should be going right, but I'm always wrong, so I'll turn left instead" and it would still be wrong.
And why does planning a wedding have to take one year??

Odat said...

You've just got to get a GPS...those are the greatest things ever invented!!!
I had a Mother in law from hell too...i just told myself she's not my problem...I had to do that in order to get on with life. Some days will be better than others...Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

"confuckulation" is my new favorite word. Thank you, Lee.

Mr R Rabbit said...

Ah, I have a GPS system and I have to say that they seem to have side-effects related to IDIOT. Namely driving blindly wherever they tell you to go.

As for the inlaws, fantasising unpleasant ends or life changes for your inlaws is practically a requirement.

Nosjunkie said...

Hi Angel: Maps confuse me even more

Grem:I have had a year of idiot and I am now giving up on it ever stopping

Hi CEO: We live together fine infact I am living with his little brother too and I get along with the middle brother and his dad, His mother however..... Lets just put it this way this time around I reserve the right to hold a grudg

Claudia: Because I am a libran and making any kind of choice for me is a big deal plus I am sure his mother is gonna meddal and confuse me even more. I hate that I want it to be perfect... its just too much presure

ODAT: I intend to do just that in a serius bad grace as I hate paying so much for something that I dont want.
thats kinna the aproach I am taking at the moment, stiffla is going for dinner there on fiday night alone as shes not my problem. I have my own mother with whome I am trying to maintain a strained relationship with and thats enough for me

Val: My pleasure love

Rabbit: I drive blindly anyway only now I will have step by step directions on how to do it properly. and GPS gives me something to blame

Anonymous said...

I don't suffer from IDIOT but I do get insane when I see people staring at their gps instead of the road. In a few years I'll be so crochety, I'll be saying crap like whipersnapper. Enjoyed reading the idea of selling mother-in-law into slavery. hehehe.