Pigglet Me and Giffie

Yesterday when we walked into the cinema to see saw4 we were convinced that nausea would be the worst part of our day… Not for a moment did Piglet and I think that we would be needing and overdose of Rescue and a stiff brandy to calm our nerves while Stiffla and Will pushed my car out of a ditch…
I shit you not people….
We had a bit of fumble when an Ass-hat skipped a stop street and came careering at my cars side.
Having to swerve into the next lane in the sight of oncoming traffic would not have been so much of an issue if I was driving a Scooby or an Evo… but as fate would have it I was driving my little Giffie a front wheel drive corsa lite with a stock suspension and the only modifications being the 15” rims we had fitted the day I got her (and make no mistake those rims were the difference between ending up on our roof and ending up on the wheels).
Our swerve brought us ass about face across the road drifted like a pro and then did a side wheels only barrel into a deep muddy ditch on the side of the road while I try fight the urge to put foot flat on the brakes.
We came to a stop thanks to the mud, once I had pried my arm off of Piglets chest where I pinned her when the shit struck I got out and started swearing at said ass-hat in long alliterated stanzas… I swore at everything while little pigs sat breathing deeply, eyes wide as saucers she kept saying “its okay Lee, Its okay”
I said not it wasn’t and kept swearing…. Later I was told that people understand because that’s how I deal with things….
Pigglet only started crying when Stiffla and Will found us about 5 min later.
I didn’t stop swearing until the stiff brandy put me to sleep.

So people that was my and Pigglets very near brush with death… I am refraining from sharing with you what I wish upon ass-hat and his silver Polo who by the way did not as much as break to check if we were alright because I may get arrested…