100 things you didn't need to know about me

The fact that all my clients have gone on leave has left me board and with nobody to pester.
So instead of writing the book Will and I are working on I have decided to follow the crowd for the third time in my life and compile my very own 100 things about me list.

1) I was born at around twelve in the afternoon on the 14th of October 1985 at st Maries maternity hospital in Springs. Only a few hours after my cuz who was born in the same hospital causing a serious confusion concerning what Mrs. Parker was en labor when.
2) This is only the second point on this list and I am already starting to doubt how interesting I really am
3) I went to Northmead primary school where I was a popular as bread mold. I had three best friends, and I am still in contact with two of them but it is more than apparent that we have grown apart
4) I spent my High school years at Noorderlig where the fact that I don’t look like bread mold sourced more than my fair share of male attention and I was termed popular until I beat a grade 11 up in my grade 8 year and I developed a reputation. After that I did not lose the male vote but woman walked circles around me and still do
5) I like cars. No you don’t understand I love cars like people love their families. My car has a name and I cried the day I saw a Shelby GT500 in the metal. I shit you not. I also used to write for a car web sight and I have intended posting my articles up for ages but haven’t gotten around to it.
6) I sing all the damn time. Gremlin is as far as I know the only person who likes it. Christmas carols are my songs of choice and I have no qualms about singing them all year round. Grem said it made the house sound happy.
7) I had my first poem published at the age of 13
8) I lost my virginity at 14 to a virgin who was too old for me.
9) I can’t orgasm during sex. I don’t know why but I don’t really care either. The bright side is that I can fake it like no other woman. I have read that it is not an uncommon problem though
10) I think I am bi-sexual. I made out with two of my girlfriends (and went to third base with one of them) and actually enjoyed it. I like lesbian porn and am attracted to woman… but only uber uber hot woman.
11) I cant believe I actually shared that
12) I am getting married to DeWet Gerber (Stiffla) in December 2008. We went to the same high school but can’t remember one another. I also thought he was an idiot when I met him.
13) The first guy I ever kissed had bad breath. But I was so desperate to get kissed that I didn’t care.
14) I have had two vibrators in my life. I didn’t buy either. The first was a skinny little pink thing. The guy who bought it was afraid that I may prefer the vibrator to him. The other is a very well publicized see-through, thick, glittery, wrinkly thing that Grem gave me for my 21st birthday it really is very funny and I have pictures of all my guy friends playing with it.
15) Will isn’t my real brother, He is Stiffla’s youngest brother but if I did have a brother I would like him to be like Will only less obnoxious.
16) I have a sister, a younger sister who is my complete opposite, she’s tall I’m short, she runs from libraries screaming with fear, I spend whole days there, she likes pink I hate it, she likes her boyfriend I hate him, she likes sport I find excuses.
17) My Dad was my hero and still is even after his passing when I was 16. he was a teacher and without a doubt the most intelligent and fun person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing
18) It was only after he died that my mother and I were forced to like one another. My mom and dad never had a fight in their whole marriage. Sure they got annoyed but were always able to talk about it. This was mainly due to the fact that my dad didn’t have a temper and couldn’t get angry no matter how hard you tried. An attribute that I unfortunately didn’t get.
19) I don’t like my step dad, and not because his my step dad but because as a person he pisses me off. I don’t have step kid syndrome and this has nothing to do with my dad.
20) I haven’t shaved my legs in a week
21) I am the only person of my generation, it seems, who doesn’t like transformers, kong pow and superman oh and spider man 3
22) I like to talk dirty and do it quite well if I do say so myself its sexy and I like it.
23) You can tell me I am ugly, you can tell me I’m fat (and Will quite frequently does) but insult my intelligence and you have one helluva a fight on your hands
24) I have the most annoying voice and laugh. I can break glass I swear .
25) Speaking of swearing….I do that a lot… really a lot. I swear like a sailor but cannot say that hideous Afrikaans word that starts with a P
26) I love to read
27) I love Lost so much, it’s unhealthy. I have all the available seasons on DVD and it’s an addiction that has given me serious crush on Sawyer
28) I also love ALO-ALO “liston vergy carfully I will say dis only once”
29) Apparently I flirt with all men. APPARENTLY. I always thought that I was just friendly
30) I am wider than I should be and yet I am still a bomb shell and I am not blushing while admitting this even though god knows that I would love to lose those extra cm
31) I am an atheist. Not because I want to be but because my avid interest in history has led me to it. And I cant believe in stuff just cos it feels good
32) I know all the words to my fair lady (songs included) and I can also recite without any help the whole fast and the furious and quite frequently do
33) I am a killer dancer and again I am not shy to admit it even with no formal training I rule and I have no inhibitions so I dance on stages at clubs
34) This is point 34
35) If I were a real live lesbian (and this I got from pink stuffing) I would date Jessica Alba screw Lindsay Lohan and crush on Keira knightly and Nataly Portman
36) If I won the lotto tomorrow I would buy a Bugatti Veyron
37) I don’t blog to get stuff of my chest, I blog to get comments and it pisses me off when I don’t get them. I am one of those people who think that my opinions need to be heard and I need confirmation that they were heard. Oh and I love you guys
38) I am terribly materialistic. I will not date or even consider a guy with a lower income or worse car than I have. I equate money with success and success with ambition. I need a man to have ambition I never want to hear “I cant” or “its not my fault” because I will attack your lazy ass personality in ways you haven’t dreamed of.
39) If you ask me how you look or what I think, you should be ready for an honest opinion if you want to be complimented and nurtured I suggest you fuck off.
40) When I was a teen I had bulimia for a very long time. Now I wish I had the body that was not good enough then, strange how things work
41) This is the second time I have been engaged, I got engaged to one of the most well meaning genuine people I know and three weeks after that we got into a car accident and he died. I was fucked up about it for way to long.
42) I broke my collar bone in said accident witch was small price to pay since I was the only person who walked out of there alive
43) I have moved passed my grief and while I love Johan and always will I know that he was holding me back and that if I had married him I would have been a house wife who never reaches her full potential.
44) I tried to commit suicide after the accident but my mom was smart enough to substitute the sleeping pills the hospital gave me with some herbal calming tablet. I slept well and was in happy mode for three days but my mom really did save my life.
45) I am different now. Build a bridge and get over it. That’s my motto. I wont be gotten down by anything. I work hard for everything I have and I expect no less than perfection from myself and no that doesn’t make anything worse it makes me successful
46) I have wanted to be s chef , a teacher, a lawyer and a historian in my life and if it wasn’t for my mild dislike of snotty kids I still think I would be great at all of them
47) I am not a chef, a teacher, a lawyer or a historian, I facilitate financing. How’s that for life’s curve balls
48) I have never done any sport because I wanted to. I didn’t play netball at school because I cant stand large amounts of woman all together and I only did track because it came with an off period.
49) The biggest mistakes I have ever made have names. Raymond, Donovan and Vee (granted if it wasn’t for Vee I would never have met Stiffla so he is only half mistake half dumb luck)
50) I am only half way and this thing is already 3 pages long
51) If I could get on a plane and go anywhere in the world right now it would be Egypt I am completely completely fascinated by the place and its history
52) I get broody around Christmas.
53) My favorite book is River God by Wilbur Smith and I have read it probably three times
54) I don’t like chocolate and sweet stuff but I can floor a box of salty crax like its nobodies business
55) I am very bad at girly things. This I suppose is due to the fact that my mom and I didn’t get along when I was a kid so I had nobody to teach me I also had no girlfriends to speak of. I cant do makeup well or my nails and hair and I feel so bad when I have to spend money on stuff like that. It’s a waste as far as I am concerned
56) Contrary to what I have just said I do so love shoes, stilettos grrrrrrr and cloths particularly business suits with a good cut.
57) I only started drinking at 20 years of age and it was tragic
58) I cry in movies a lot. I ball my eyes out and Will and Stiffla sit and laugh at me
59) I am the worst shopper in the world. I even annoy myself. A great follower of the 3 P rule (Pick it up, Put it down and Piss off) it can take me three days to make a single purchase. I shit you not
60) I am stingy as hell and that doesn’t help
61) I have really ugly toes
62) I cant stand going to the hair dresser because I don’t like talking to the hairdresser and I hate it even more if the woman tries to make small talk because it always end in this uncomfortable silence.
63) I don’t make friends with people at work. I find that it always tend to end badly or at best you are always associated with your friends bad work ethic
64) Not having friends at work allows me to play fair at work so I am not bias towards anybody
65) I have recently learnt that I am not bad shot. When Stiff first brought the pellet guns home I freaked at the price the damn things cost now I love to play with them more than he does
66) I only eat once a day and have been told its bad for me (I am so running out of stuff )
67) A Russian woman once told me I look like Bridgett Bardot other than that I have never been compared to any famous person.
68) I had honey blond hair down to my bum when I was a kid
69) I am semi goth semi “mean girls” inclined in my fashion sense
70) Vis-à-vis I have bad fashion sense
71) Pizza and cheese curls are my favorite foods
72) My favorite band is system of the down at the moment
73) I am completely emotionally screwed the only emotion that I can talk about is anger
74) I pick my nose when I am board
75) When I get angry I cry. And I hate it. How are you supposed to have a decent fight when your all teary eyed
76) Stiff and I have never had a fight and it will break my heart when we finally do
77) I am hysterically afraid of needles. So much so that my doctor used to make sure there were nurses to hold me down if he dared attempt it
78) I don’t like doctors either, not because I am afraid of them but because going to the doctor means I am admitting that I cant sort it out on my own and I usually can
79) I never fold cloths in my closet usually I take three steps back and fling them in. I cant find a damn thing when my cloths are folded
80) I hate being alone, even for small amounts of time. I depress myself when I am left alone with my thoughts and usually end up crying. If the boys are not there on Saturdays I go visit my mom or get in bed with Wills girlfriend and talk crap all morning.
81) I hate sleeping in too late it ruins my day and I hate the boys sleeping in late too its slothly and more importantly it leaves me alone
82) I don’t have a favorite color, I like black and purple and blue and red most but all colors are nice in the right setting
83) I live in a two bedroom wooden cottage on my moms plot. We have three houses on the property. Since it is such a big piece of land it makes it safer if you have more people on the plot
84) The friends I have now went to school with me and Stiff and we still see them every single Saturday night. We don’t even have to invite them they just pitch up
85) I get very nervous when I get lost and I get lost often.
86) I am a cat person but I still like dogs. I am not really a big animal person like some are who can cuddle and play with their animals. I like my cats, they need a lap to sit on or a leg to rub up against and their happy
87) I don’t like diamonds, my engagement ring has a massive sapphire because I find diamonds boring
88) I like match making and I am responsible for hooking Will up with Laura but so far that is my only success story
89) I am addicted to the internet and of coarse to my blog my e-mails can wait, I read my blog comments first
90) I am not allergic to anything and have spent minimal time in hospital in my life. I don’t eat very well but I am still not a sickly person
91) I studied towards a degree in psychology for a year and then left it then I studied towards a teaching degree for a year before that ambition met the same end I am not good at studying but I love learning and absorb any info I find interesting like a sponge
92) When I have found something out or learnt something new I can’t wait to get home and tell the boys. I like sharing stuff and info does not satisfy me until I have told someone
93) We have recently started gyming, Will and I, and I amazed myself by actually enjoying it
94) Music is my biggest memory trigger. All the songs on the CCR platinum album reminds me of cooking with dad in the summer. Rooi rok bokkie will always remind me of Johan and the hypnotize mesmerize from system reminds me of when Stiff and I just hooked up
95) I have long talon nails (my own Ill have you know) that never look neat because I chew the nail polish off
96) I pronounce my name Lee-Ann when I introduce myself because people cant pronounce Leanne and I don’t have the patience to try and correct them for half an hour
97) I like to do business in English but I like to swear in Afrikaans.
98) I am almost finished
99) My best friend is Wills girlfriend and she is also my complete opposite, Pink and Ditsy where I am disturbed
100) It took me three days to do this list and it has made me suicidal… and if you have successfully read this you should be suicidal too.