This year I resolve to:
1) Get rid of my “Post pregnancy Britney Spears” love handles, fit back into a size 8 jean and go back to looking more like Jessica Alba and less like Rosie O’Donnell.
2) Buying an amp and getting started on my sound install in my car.
3) Elevate my standing in the corporate ladder considerably.
4) Pay of my accounts and most of my debt
5) Finish the houses interior walling
Stop gawking at me… I am well aware that in the past I have been no great fan of New Year’s resolutions but this year is different.
Yes different….
A year that starts with Stiffla wearing a bra and Durka-Durka stealthlesly walking into a pool in pink fairy wings is sure to be different.
I am back in blog land my friends, and would lie if I told you that I tried to make an effort at blogging while on leave because I didn’t.
Who would want to sit in front of a pc during the only few days of sunshine this wet summer has provided us with.
Instead I took advantage of every second of sunny fiesta by swimming tanning and playing games with the boys and our mates like ten year old kids.
That’s what the silly season is all about after all…regaining the youth that the mundane trudge of life sucks out of you.
The 500 games of volleyball and catch along with the festive buzz of Christmas and New Year really did that for us.
Christmas day started with the traditional opening of presents.
I had spent two salaries on gifts for everybody and it had been worth every penny of it especially since I got to read the book I got Will first ( Note its called Sniper One written by Sgt Dan Mills, It is one helluva awesome book. It’s a first hand account of conflict in Iraq and Mr. Mills has done a great job. No bells and wistels or fancy smancy writer’s tricks, just a sniper telling his story).
We always have a cold lunch so the cooking could be done the day before, but it was delish.
We had turkey, tongue, gammon and roast lamb with potato salad, noodle salad, Caesar salad, stuffed eggs, salmon mouse, crackers and home made mustard, followed by trifle for pudding.
It was marvelous and after wards we jumped in the pool and started acting like lunatics again.
Just after Christmas we spent some time with Rods who had come from Hong Kong for a visit.
Rods has been in Hong Kong for a while now teaching gymnastics to kids and this year he brought his girlfriend Florence and his sisters boyfriend Jules along.
For the occasion we all took a drive to Nkwe for a good South-African braai.
Nkwe is a great place a few Kays from us.
All it really is, is a grove with a cliff on one end that plummets into a natural rock pool underneath.
The cliff face is about 15m high and its great sport to jump of it into the water and see if you can survive.
Stiff did his usual crazy repetitive jumps while Will made it clear that grace and poise did not run in the family when he did a half broken arrow semi belly flop of the cliff.
After that he resigned himself to playing touch rugby with Jules.
Jules is Cantonese…hold on that’s not right…. Jules is Cantonese but he grew up in Australia, now living in Hong Kong and has a very American accent.
All this has a had a very crappy effect on the impressionable Will and he has been mimicking Jules ever since with a pitch that sounds like a transvestite duck he walks around saying “yeh that shit is fucking totally crazy man”.
We also took some great pics but after the drama last year I am going to have to go through them nicely before posting any of them up.
New years was a blast too.
We went down to Bronkhorst spruit dam and stayed in Durka-Durka’s uncles stunning house for the night.
We smoked a lot of Hubbly Bubbly and played a lot of kings.
Then some funny English kids crashed our party, we didn’t mind much, being the friendly folk we are, Unfortunately the English kids disappeared with a bottle of fish eagle that didn’t belong to them and we had no choice but to go and find the buggers.
We tracked across the front of the houses that lined the dam.
It was lost to us that Durka-Durka was doing the spy game thing with pink fairy wings strapped to his back and what the weird kids might think of his serious reprimand while latched to the pink feathers.
At some point we hit a dead end…Durka was searching for a way across the water when we realized that what looked like a tiled spot of floor was in fact a small pool with a tarp pulled over it.
Unfortunately Durka did not hear our conversation so he turned and walked straight onto tarp.
Everybody gasped and for a moment it actually seemed that he would walk straight over it, but it was only a fraction of a second and Durka sank like big bad of shit.
Gone was our stealthily approach and any hope for a surprise entry with it.
The big splash that Durka made was nothing compared to the peals of laughter that registered from our group as we bolted for the next jetty before the owner of the unfortunate puddle of water discovered a giggling fairy taking a swim on his tarp.
After that Piglet being of sound and sober mind had a fight with the stair case and emerged less than triumphant with a blue knee cap that forced her to hop about the entire place.
My two most horney friends came up with a solution and fought for the honor of carrying her around every where. Piglet is yet to recover from the culture shock.
The night ended as we watched almost every house and camp sight shoot of thousands of Rands worth of fire works over the dam.
It made for a good show as the fire works reflect on the water.
All in all it was a good break from reality.
And on new years day I did some tarot readings and was pleased to find that the future looked bling bright for both me and Will.
Don’t scoff it either my cards have never been wrong.
By the way Will has kept me up to date on some of your posts and I would just like to extend a big WHOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to Glugs and Angel for finally getting it together.
Just so you know we all saw it coming!
Peace my people
